


Big Damn Heroes

by chancellorxofxtrash (PhoebeMurdivine)



Series: Trashpups [6]
Category: Durarara!!, 越佐大橋シリーズ | Etsusa Bridge Series (Manga)
Genre: Fluff, Guns, Inui's inner fanboy comes out a lot, M/M, Valentine's Day, gunfights, lots of references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 15:23:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6912748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoebeMurdivine/pseuds/chancellorxofxtrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Valentine's Day. Even for the two dogs of the island, who decide to spend it on the mainland. Obviously, where they go, trouble will soon follow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Big Damn Heroes

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted this to be a series of short scenes about a lot of couples, but I got so many ideas for the trashpups, that I ended up just posting this alone. I might write others, it really depends.

„Rise and shine!”  
The curtains were yanked open, and Kugi groaned, pulling the covers over his head.  
„What the fuck, Inui?!”  
Okay. So maybe he liked Inui. Maybe more than liked. He didn’t like to think about how much did he actually like him, but they had been together for more than two months at this point. They exchanged fucking Christmas gifts and spent their New Years’ Eve together as well.  
But at times like this, he seriously tested his patience.  
He was used to the energy that often radiated from Inui. He was used to him breaking into his room. He was used to Inui sleeping in his bed.  
But getting woken up by Inui, who was already obviously running on maximum speed, that was not something that was on his to-do list.  
„Come on, get out of bed.”  
„...why.”  
„Because I have plans for you, Valentine.”  
Kugi groaned, and just put his pillow over his head.  
„Remind me, why I’m putting up with you, again.”  
„Because I’m a fucking delight, that’s why... why are you snorting?!”  
Inui yanked the pillow off from Kugi’s head, and they just glared at each other for a few moments, until Kugi gave up with a sigh.  
„And what are your plans with me for today?”  
„Honestly, you are so horribly, unbelievably rude. Can’t you look a little bit more excited?”  
„If it’s piracy, it’s still a no.”  
„...well, there goes plan B. But fooled you. My original plan was different. Which means now you don’t have any choice.”  
„...did I ever have any choice?”  
„Well, you would have had an illusion of a choice, but you just had to shoot down piracy right away.”  
Kugi rolled his eyes, and then sighed.  
„Alright. What’s your plan A?”  
Inui grinned.  
„Get dressed. We are going to the mainland.”

 

Well. At least they weren’t walking all the way. Inui apparently got themselves a boat to get themselves off the island.  
„I hope this isn’t a scheme to get us on a pirate adventure.”  
Inui looked at him, and grinned, the wind blowing his completely ridiculous hair.  
„Does that sound like something I would do?”  
„Yes.”  
„...okay, maybe. But I promise, no piracy this time.”

 

It actually did not involve piracy.  
Well, a tiny bit.  
Seeing as it was an exhibit of multiple movie props, costumes and trivia – and these movies inevitably involved some pirate movies as well.  
Kugi just looked at the costume that Claudia Walken had been wearing in the movie Attack of the Killer Edison (he had a feeling Inui will make him watch that damned movie one day, and he was dreading it already) and he was wondering why he was putting up with this.  
„Kugi! Kugi look at this! This is the The Gear costume that Charon Walken was wearing in the Mode Gears Series! Look at how cool this is! They absolutely used zero CGI with this costume, it’s all practical effects when he was moving with it how fucking badass is that?!”  
Oh right. That’s why.  
Inui really seemed to be in his element, almost running from costume to costume, from prop to prop, endlessly spouting some random trivia, which might or might not had been on the information papers either way. Kugi barely even looked at the signs. He had his own personal tour guide either way.  
And he was never left far behind. His hands were in the pockets of his jacket, but he let Inui grab into his arm, and pulling him after, when he got himself a little bit distracted.  
As usual, they were quite the odd pair – but Inui’s wild hair attracted attention no matter where he went, so Kugi was used to it at this point.  
„Come on, Yuuhei Hanejima will hold an event in one of the auditoriums, I want to be there! Maybe we can get some pictures with him! How cool would that be?!”  
Kugi just smiled, and seeing his small smile, Inui’s grin grew even wider.  
„Awww, look at that. You are enjoying yourself. It was a good idea, wasn’t it?”  
Kugi looked at Inui’s shining mismatched eyes, and huge grin.  
„Yeah, it’s fine.”  
„Come on, we need to take a break from all the action ourselves. At least nobody is shooting at us this time.”

  
„...well this didn’t go as planned.”  
„You think?!”  
„Hey, gimme a break, I’m pretty sure we are not the targets this time! I had nothing to do with this!”  
„You totally jinxed it with saying that oooh, at least nobody is shooting at us this time.”  
„Jinxed? Really? What are you, five?”  
Predictably, of course they ended up being shot at.  
One would think they would be safe in the mainland, but noooo.  
„How in the hell they brought in guns here?”  
„Don’t tell me you didn’t bring in your guns.”  
„Well. Yes. But that’s besides the point, that’s a goddamned arsenal out there.”  
Inui actually chuckled, while they were hiding between the rows of chairs from the chaos out there – they were easily the most unfettered ones in the room.  
„I wonder why the hell are they here, either way?”  
„Probably because of me.”  
They both turned towards the source of the voice – and they found Yuuhei Hanejima crouching behind the rows again.  
Okay, correction. For a movie star who only saw gunfights in his movies (probably), he also looked remarkably unfettered.  
Inui on the other hand? Not so much.  
„Holy shit. Hi. Big fan.”  
„Not the time to have a fanboy-moment, Inui” Kugi muttered.  
„When will be the next time I can be this close to a movie star, huh?!”  
Yuuhei looked completely nonchalant about the situation, even about Inui’s little fanboy-moment. Or not so little. Kugi was pretty sure the only reason Inui was not screaming was because even he had enough self-preservation instincts to not alert the gunmen to their location.  
Or maybe that was the whole _let’s not take unnecessary risks_ -thing they agreed on a while ago.  
„What do you mean they are probably here for you?”  
„I think they had a dispute with my manager, and they wanted some money from him. I’m not sure about details, but they figured they would get money if they threaten me.”  
Kugi looked around sighing.  
„Well they definitely don’t care much. They definitely killed some civilians.”  
Inui also glanced around, and started to shift, until Kugi grabbed his shoulder and yanked him back down.  
„Heyyy what is that for?!”  
„You poke your head out, you might as well wave a target around and scream that they should shoot here.”  
„...okay, point taken. Buuuut....”  
He didn’t finish, but just looked at Kugi with wide eyes.  
„...no.”  
„Oh come on! We have a chance to save Yuuhei fucking Hanejima. Come oooon, Kugi, don’t be a spoilsport. You seen these guys. These are not professionals.”  
„Unnecessary. Risks. Remember?”  
„Yeah, yeah, but this is necessary. Besides as I said, not professionals. Plus, you are here with me. Not that big of a risk.”  
They just looked at each other, almost having an argument without more spoken words. An argument that Kugi was losing.  
So he just gave up with a sigh.  
„Fine. But no shitty movies tonight, then. No B-movies. Only real quality ones.”  
Inui’s face lit up, and Kugi definitely did not mind saying yes as much as he pretended to.  
„Deal” and with that, Inui pulled out his gun. „Time for some thrilling heroics, then.”

 

They were most definitely not professionals.  
And they definitely did not expect two of the guests to jump out from behind the rows, with their own guns, and start shooting – with way too much precision.  
They did not expect a rainbow-haired man with a gun held sideways and a wicked grin, and did not expect a guy in a trenchcoat, with two guns, and unreadable expression.  
They definitely did not expect any of this.  
It really didn’t take long until Kugi was facing the one who was obviously the boss, and pretty much the last one standing, and pointed one of his guns to the man’s head.  
„Wait!”  
Kugi stopped, his finger on the trigger, and just stayed quiet. The man was sweating, looking around nervously.  
„I... I can pay you! I don’t know who you work for, or something, but I can pay more! Help me get my money back from those assholes, and I’ll make you and your partner rich!”  
Kugi smiled a little.  
„Well, this might just be your lucky day.”  
He pulled the trigger.  
The man winced.  
The gun clicked.  
Kugi was still smiling.  
„I’m out of bullets.”  
The man started to look relieved, but Kugi continued.  
„But he isn’t.”  
The guy looked to the side – only to be met by a gun held sideways.  
And that gun did fire.

 

„Asshole that was so fucking cool, don’t even deny it! Now that’s what I call a co-op finisher.”  
Inui didn’t stop grinning as he just stood there, in the middle of the carnage that this time, was only partially caused by them.  
Kugi just slid his guns back to his sleeves, shaking his head.  
„I still can’t believe you dragged me into this.”  
„Come on. You were smiling. I saw that. You enjoyed this.”  
Kugi did not reply, just shook his head with a little smile.  
Yuuhei walked up to them, still looking quite calm, despite all the commotion.  
„Thank you for your help.”  
„Don’t even mention it. You look really calm, though – this wasn’t a movie scene right? No hidden cameras and shit, right?”  
Inui waited until Yuuhei shook his head, before continuing.  
„Then I really don’t get it. You act like this is a common thing for you.”  
„I grew up in Ikebukuro.”  
The way Yuuhei said that implied that they should have understood what it meant – but Yuuhei did not elaborate.  
„I think you should go before the police arrests you.”  
„Shit, he’s right. We gotta scram but before that...”  
Kugi just looked at Inui, who looked at Yuuhei with admiration in his eyes, barely containing his fanboying.  
„...can I have your autograph?”

 

„You gotta admit, this sort of thing was more fitting to us than all pink hearts and chocolate.”  
„If you continue speaking like that, I’ll assume that you planned this all to happen.”  
„Come ooonnnn you know I wouldn’t. It’s not that fun, getting civilians into danger.”  
„I know. I’m just pulling your leg.”  
They were sitting on the docks, waiting for their ride back to the island, neither of them really inclined to walk all the way back.  
If Kugi really thought about it, yeah, Inui was right. He did enjoy this a lot – the adrenaline rush, the smoke from the guns. As much as he loved watching stupid movies with Inui (with the occasional good movies thrown in), there was still fundamentally a part of them that thrived on gunshots and bullets and evading death.  
Speaking of which...  
„I’m surprised you didn’t say anything.”  
„Wow. You being surprised by me not making comments? Lemme check it quick, because pigs might fly at any moment.”  
Kugi playfully shoved a little at Inui’s side.  
„Shut up, asshole.”  
„Now do you want me to speak or shut up? Mixed messages, man, you are still a master of them, I see. Okay, but seriously, what are you talking about?”  
„Come on. Let’s recap what happened from those attackers’ perspective. They went out to do their evil plan involving lots of guns and kidnappings. Or hostage situation. It was a bit of a mess. Then suddenly two of the attendees turn out to be quite professional with guns. And definitely not shy to use them. They were not there on purpose it was all an accident. The two end up taking down the bad guys in a big shootout, and there are even some cheesy one-liners.”  
He could see it finally dawning on Inui, as his eyes widened. Then he just grabbed Kugi’s face from both sides, yanking him closer for a very enthusiastic kiss.  
„Holy fucking shit” he said, when they finally broke apart from the kiss. „Holy shit. I can’t believe this. We were the retired cops on a hijacked plane, we were the former FBI agents during a bank robbery, we were the fucking assassin conductor on the train. We were the big damn heroes.”  
„Ain’t we just.”  
Inui really could not do anything else to that – just pulled Kugi in for another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading~


End file.
